luckycharms17's Journal

2:21PM - To Go Along with Asher's...

I know exactly how you feel. There are certain nights and moments, and in these momemnts, I trust people entirely. There's the certain moods and I don't question whether or not these people will always be there, becacuse what matters is that they're here now, and they're listening now. And theres times when its even with people that I would never think I would trust, but at that moment you just know you that you can trust them, even if its only for those momemnts, its like what is said then just doesn't go elsewhere.

I wish I always were able to feel that way about certain people. I have such trust issues and so many things leading me back to the fact that nobody is really there for me.

It seems as if I have no reason not to believe that these people could one day betray me too.

And it sucks going on like that, and like i was telling Duffy and Asher, it's usally all from somewhere but I just don't get where it would be from.

But anyway, I love those moments of pure honesty and trust when you realize that there are certain people who you would risk your life for and who would do the same for you. Even if its only then.

1:06AM

Type your username with your:

nose: luckycharms17
elbow: lluc,kyhcharmds17
chin: ljckychsasr,kk,mxs27
eyes closed and one finger: luckycharms17
back of my hand: luckyhcharms17
palm: luc,ky chzzar mxsqqq2217
wrist: luucc,khy cnnjjmnhszarfm dds221887

I don't get it. Are you supposed to just try to hit the right key once and if you do it wrong, just let it stay that way? Or do you keep going until you get it right? But no deletions of course.

6:09PM - Theres never a waisted minute..

Oh how true that is in Dr. Clarkes class. Yeah, right.

Just today we...
Had peter sneak into our class for part of the first period and then left, and then again second period for basically the entire period, and dr. clarke didn't notice until the period was like 10 or 15 minutes away from being over? Peter even asked if he could go next and she didn't notice, probaly didn't hear either.

We also first turned the TV on in the middle of someone talking or her talking. Then once that was shut off, we played pass the remote and eventually it turned into a soccer type thing with the remote.

And we discussed why the word "holla" should be on our final. And we told her how it is originated in 1994 from regional (?) Joseph in Compton, California. And she said good job and to bring in article on it.

10:06PM

Your happiest moment?! She was asleep!

5:25PM

luckycharms17

Caroline

8:52PM

Why don't people ever pack up and go anymore, if they need to, why don't they?

8:43AM

7:12AM

I suppose I'm relatively content, sure there are places where I'm not, but I was just upset yesterday.

8:14PM

"you really cause me so much pain. it really is pleasure spiked with pain, or pain spiked with pleasure. i can't begin to express it well, i can try, i mean you just seem so different from day to day and i just never know what to expect. and for one week youll get my entire hopes up and ill just be thrilled with opportunity and possibility, but then the net week everything can just come crashing down and it seems as if it didnt even exist. i mean its almost as if it all depends on your mood which just semes so unfair. and i mean its obvious that you know why i care so much. i couldnt make it more obvious, i mean suree i could be blunt with it but thats no fun. you've already figured it all out i know youre smart enouugh to do that. and i just don't get, do you like to torture me this way, and treat me like this? i want nothing more for it to be real."

i'm sad. and have no where to go to have fun. theres something missing. i want it filled.

9:09PM

How do you change so much from week to week?

8:47PM

Oh it was one of those days. I was in such a happy go lucky little child mood today. It was so nice.

It all started in the morning.
I didnt know what to wear so I went and grabbed the first t-shirt I wore and it just happened to be my Texas shirt and it made me happy.

Then I'm struggling with all my lacrosse stuff, and Greg takes my stick bag from me.

Then I'm stuffing all my lacrosse stuff into my locker and here comes Danielle with my mix cd! Which made me very excited. (By the way thanks again, its a mad good mix, and makes me want you in the bed even more).

And then health was just entertaining as always.

Then I went to my guidance counsler meeting for next year. And she just kept complimenting me and saying how good I was and how I needed to keep doing well and how happy she was with me. It was funny, I had this women I'd never met going on about how happy she was with me. Sort of strange but was just nice.

Then I walked my momma out. And I loved how I didn't care that I walked her out.

And lunch was lunch but calmer cause it was like 4 of us so we just talked.

Then in Swinkles class things were the normal, they were fun.

And it was just great.

Cause like, I was like..."I wish I had a cd player so I could listen to Danielles mix for me" and Jordan hands me a CD player.

Then later on I'm like, "i need chapstick" and people had that too.

And in Spanish all we did was draw animals out of numbers and senora was funny and nice and it was just a good day.

Unfortunetly we then had the game. hah, we'll leave it at that.

12:31PM

Sixth period. This day has seemed verrry long. Doctor Clarke left us in the computer lab. So all the people that do any form of work are in here while everyone else is with her in the classroom. Leah is randomly telling us facts about South Africa child labor. I'm listening to my pump up mix. haha...freebird thanks nick.

I'mm hoping our game is still on. I wouldnt mind if it got changed to home, though. But, I just want to have it anywhere instead of practice, cause we'd be indoors.

8:17AM - I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass.

Theres so many things that just go forgotten. Like theres always some quote people said that I find hysterical and we all do. And would most definitly get good laughs from later on, but everyone forgets them.

Last night was funn. I love how two of my good nights this break were at Lacrosse parties. So at Duffy's we thought it was going to be just a small group of us, and we kind of liked that. But then other ppl came too, but it wasn't bad. We had fun taunting people with eachothers cellphones and calling random ppl in everyones phonebook.

We baked brownies and sugar cookies too.

And watched the OC cause Annika hadn't seen it, but my attention span failed me and a few others so we ended up just running around.

We acted like children all night. It was muy entertaining.

Game sooooon.

6:41PM

I'm playing goalie. I'm playing goalie. GOALIE. Arghersasdajdlksadusal. Well if nothing else, it'll be experience. :-D

11:33PM - I just spelled recently, resuntly. How sad.

It's just the same old shit over and over and over again. Oh please save me.

10:28PM

Sooo first night of spring break and I'm out for tops an hour and half. Home before 9. Didn't really care though. Just relaxed and read some book Margot lent me at home. Mad lacrosse stuff tomorrow. Practice from 9-10. Then running to Wodman to watch the Varsity Game. Then possibly helping at at the youth clinic from 1-3. Then party/sleepover thing at Emily's house for us and her b'day. I dont know if thats definily going to happen. It's confusing. I'll probably go for at least some of it, if just the sleepover.

So happy to have a whole week off. And I don't have much homework. Woohoo.

WHERE HAVE YOU GONE!!!

10:16PM

So we went to the UN today. And we had a competition between girls and guys about which sex could get the most numbers. I'm glad to say girls trully beasssted it. Emily Yermack got the janitors number. He was like 65 years old. And me and a few other girls who were there also got 4 guys numbers, 3 of which only spoke French. Winkles (Mr. Siwinski) caught on, and he was making fun of Emily for asking like 8 year olds. Then Emily decides to tell Mr. Aquavia that she thought he was sexy and ask for his number. She shocks me that girl.

9:45PM - garrrrr

jklasdaudoajdalkdaoiop23wq2.

All I have to say.

Work sucks asssss.

So we won yesterday, lost today.
14-7 us against Montville.
3-8 them against Mounttain Lakes. Not too bad considering their mountain lakes.

There was something I thought to say but im distracted.

10:53PM

It was 10:00 on Easter Sunday and I danced to Jet playing loudly in my kitchen while having rice krispies because I didn't eat dinner. It was most definitly one of the funnest things this weekend.

12:18AM - I don't have fun.

Ever.